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It's certainly the touchscreen face that launched a thousand apps.

But as an actual call-making phone, it's rubbish, and we aim to prove it.

The earbud headphones that come with the i Phone include a hands-free microphone, but they're tinny and as weak as a kitten, with no sound-isolating rubber nubs.

Rumour has it Steve Jobs is hard of hearing and Apple has been criticised for making i Pods too loud.

Call quality on the i Phone is pathetic, and it's mostly because of the tiny speaker.

It has to be aligned with your ear canal with the accuracy of a laser-guided ninja doing cataract surgery, or else the volume cuts down to nothing as the sound waves bounce uselessly around your ear shells.

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