They may hide behind perfectionism, achievement and even self-sufficiency.They often resist what they need and want most of all.Many adoptees act out their grief through their behavior which at times can be quite challenging for the family. They worry that if someone knew how needy or hurting they were inside they may be rejected all over again.Some adoptive parents, after years of struggle may even conclude that they are not cut out to be parents after all leaving the adoptee to once again feel rejected and to be too much to handle. This is true even in the best adoptive homes and families.The Wells are white and live in Champaign, Illinois, a multi-cultural Big Ten university town and have gone to some effort to create a diverse environment for their son and three biological daughters.Wells knew that raising a black son wouldn’t always be easy.
However, as someone who has been a close friend on the sideline of a guy adoptee, watching him and hearing from him as he interacts with his potential future significant other/future wife that he desires to start a family with.When your partner’s affliction becomes destructive to your life and happiness, you can no longer be supportive and positive in your partners life EITHER.That will be the deciding factors, and only you know how much you can cope with and tolerate to still be happy within yourself or together!Other people might stay or have left earlier, you cannot use that as a yardstick, you are in charge of your yard stick.
There is also a temporary solutions, that might help the RESET button or gain perspective.After counseling countless adult adoptees in couple's therapy I've found that far too many are susceptible to choosing partners who will eventually abandon them. After all, who'd knowingly marry someone who was going to leave them?