New yorker article on computer dating


I like fat girls, old girls, tall girls, tired girls.

Girls who lack adequate clothing, girls whose best idea for getting my attention is to send a photo of themselves holding suggestive Popsicles, their fists covered in red melt.

They’d heard about some students at Harvard who’d come up with a program called Operation Match, which used a computer to find dates for people. She makes Quiche Lorraine, plays chess, and like me she loves to ski. ”One day, a woman named Patricia Lahrmer, from 1010 WINS, a local radio station, came to to do an interview.


You’ve got swagger but sometimes you sing Radiohead’s “Creep” while eating Carl’s Jr.We still live under volcanoes, hacking at iron, trying to revive the old tradition. I teach online English classes, not to get paid but because I like to feel smarter than someone else. I subscribe to the magazines that tell me we are all beautiful, if only we can learn to tap into our potential; I am me and no one else is me, and that is a miracle. The downside: my mother has been dead for some hundreds of years, so you’ll never meet her. But my eye is blue, and it’s pale and it’s beautiful.I left home—too hot, too old—and live in Washington State. My volcano is more famous than any of my brothers’ volcanoes. The upside: my father is the god of the sea, so we can guarantee good weather on our honeymoon cruise. He smells like an overcleaned wound, and he won’t quit working. My vision is good, though not great, but understand this: I will never again visit an ophthalmologist or an optometrist or anyone else who claims to be an expert of my organ. A lot rides on your username—more than you may think. If you have a boring name, like Herbert, you probably died alone during the Great Depression. However, drinking wine and painting a mug on a bad second date does not qualify you to be a painter of dating profiles.


If you have a fun name, like a girl named Poppy, you’re probably crushing it out there. All of which would be good news if you knew how to paint.All of them had received the couch-spooning treatment.


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